It's hard to explain, even to myself. I have a very practical side. I believe in some stability. I come from stability. I had a great childhood, with amazing parents and grandparents, the best friends ever, and little drama or trauma. I am blessed. I am best friends with my parents. They are the greatest support system any person could ever dream of. I am educated, and now I even get to work for myself. I have two amazing kids to whom I have tried to give a good head start in life. Even though I couldn't make it work with their dad, we've done a pretty good job co-parenting, and I respect him for being a good dad and loving them day in and day out. I believe I owed it to the kids to stay put while they were growing up, so they could have the stability of a home, a neighborhood, and even the same school and group of friends throughout. They are currently a senior and a sophomore in high school. Very, very soon it will be over. They will fly the coop, choose their own paths, move, work, go to school, maybe even find someone special. They will no longer be my roommates, my babies, my live comedy acts in the car commutes to and from school. And it's going to be WEIRD.
I'm excited for them and what's up next, but of course scared, too. That's what parents do. I'm scared about them driving themselves to school, starting in the next month or so. I'm scared of them getting their hearts broken by boy and girl friends to come. I'm scared they will move away and never want to see me, won't return my texts, and generally consider me a nuisance in their lives. I hope those things don't happen. I don't want them to live here forever, or even right next door, but I like them so much I just know how much I will miss them if/when they are far away.
But on the other hand, I'M ready to fly the coop! I have so many dreams floating around in my head, so many places I want to go, things I want to do, sights I want to see. The practical person inside says stay put, work a corporate job, save your money, and then travel when you retire at 65. But my gypsy heart says to hell with that. What if I don't make it to 65? What if some disease or accident finds me before then? So this tug-of-war has been going on, but I'm pretty sure I know which side is winning. Team Gypsy.
Kid 1 graduates in 8 months. and kid 2 graduates in 2 years and 8 months. Currently working for myself, and loving it. Working my ass off, but loving it. Sometimes the money is month to month, or week to week, but generally I'm ahead of the game. Whew. I want to make sure all bills are continued to be paid off (I am debt free). Be smart about money now, and continue to work the Dave Ramsey baby steps (to a point). I want to save enough money in the next 2 years (or sooner would be fine, too) to buy myself an adorable vintage camper that will be my home. Eventually I will trade my CRV for a pickup that is capable of towing this comfortably. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, bit by bit, I want to downsize EVERYTHING. Sell or donate everything as it's appropriate, so that by the time the kids are gone and out on their own, I can eventually sell the house, put a few things in storage at a "home base" somewhere (parents'? best friend's?) and the only things left will fit in the truck and camper. Then I want to hit the road and see what adventures lie ahead. I've been looking into workamping, where you park your rig at a campground and work there in exchange for free site rent, or small stipend, etc.
I feel like I'm pretty frugal, and I'm proud of that fact. I don't spend a lot of money on frivolous things. I'm not a shopper, don't care about remodeling the house or buying new clothes. About my only big splurge is that i want my "foo foo coffee" every day. I don't smoke and barely drink, so that's a ton of money saved. I'd rather do things and go places than have things. I think the hardest part of paring the house down will of course be sentimental items, but I have no rules about what can stay or go, so if it comes down to it, I'll rent a little storage unit for things I can't bear to part with.
By the time I'm 50 I want to be living out on the road. I work with seniors, so I see the sadness that comes with loss of independence. I fully intend to see as much of this world as possible while I'm still able to go go go. There's a bucket list, and for every thing I cross off, I seem to add two more.
Lots of rambling here, but hell, that's what this is for. This is the dream blog, this is where the planning is taking place. This is where I'm going to celebrate small wins, cry over happy and sad moments alike, and decide where to go next. Iowa and the Midwest are awesome, but I'm ready for more.
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